Chapter 236 Atonement (Revised)

Well if I'm fast i could finish translating next month. But tbh, each time I'm translating I got really drowsy sigh. Been translating on the phone for the past several months too.

I felt like giving 3 stars for current translation at best lmao. 

Chapter 236 Atonement (Revised)

It’s making me a bit worried somehow.

This is actually fine right? I thought that as I turned to Fiari, Fiari also tilted her head a bit.

“Huh? This is strange....... it won’t be strange if she opened her eyes now already.” (Fiari)

Right? Yuzuriha also already awakened, so it must be about time for Forna too......

“Sorry...... Velt......... Sorry.....” (Forna)

At that moment, Forna whose expression was in heat just a moment ago suddenly took a turn, shadow started to cloud over her expression.

Heavily depressing, gloomy darkness.

“I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry for being born. I’m sorry for having met you. I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry for being born. I’m sorry for having met you. I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry for being born. I’m sorry for having met you. I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry for being born. I’m sorry for having met you. I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry for being born. I’m sorry for having met you. I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry for being born. I’m sorry for having met you.” (Forna)

Wa,wai, wait----!

“Oi oi oi oi, what the hell’s going on here! You’re waking up right? Or are you still sleeping instead? Which is it!” (Velt)

Forna is waking up? No, she seems to be awakening but not awakened. It’s as if she’s being obsessed by the illusion and having her mentality collapsed.

“Th..... this is.......her delusion is outdoing her mentality.” (Fiari)

Seemingly having finally realized the situation, Fiari made a panicked expression and flew to Forna’s cheek and put her hand on it.

“Hey, so what’s the meaning of this?” (Velt)

“I’ve already told you right? That the illusion was showing something the receiver wishes to see. To be frank about the feeling, it’s like having a drug addiction.” (Fiari)

“Drug addiction?” (Velt)

“Of course the delusion and illusion will thin out given time and she will be able to get back but....... with that being a world of delusion...... even as she knew that it was delusion and illusion, but if her mentality itself refused for her to return.....” (Fiari)

Eh, what? So that song was that much of a dangerous thing?

“Even I didn’t want to wake up! But because husband hit me and it was hurt so I spontaneously......” (Yuzuriha)

“Hohou. So that’s how it was. The delusion that Princess Forna is seeing right now is the one that she thought of as reality, so she's refusing to return to the true reality, is that the case?” (Isamu)

“Maybe.... I don’t listen to the song myself but from what my clansmen talked about, there were some cases of it being like that......” (Fiari)

Wait a minute, that kind of thing isn’t something to be laughed at you know? Had I didn’t close my ears it’ll be very dangerous.

In short, what will happen if Forna tenaciously refused to return to reality?

Forna will always be....

“Um, I don’t really understand this kind of thing but she is...... quite mentally cornered, isn’t she?” (Fiari)

To Fiari’s words I spontaneously lifted my face.

“No...... somehow...... but still.....” (Fiari)

“What do you mean?” (Velt)

“Look, the illusion was something that showed what one ideally wished for from the bottom of one’s heart. If there’s a bit too much difference between the reality and ideals, then the world of delusion..... or so I thought as possible.....” (Fiari)

Forna is feeling cornered? Emotionally?

That’s impossible..... but on the other side of my mind, the timid words that Forna herself said passed through my head.

That she herself was at the limit......That kind of word.

“Me showing dislike to her and the feeling of guilt from herself. Are you saying that’s the cause of all of this.....” (Velt)

“Feeling of guilt? Um, Velt. Just what happened between you and her?” (Fiari)

What happened..... frankly I understood of what happened.

But, to be honest, I only kept thinking about Cosmos, I never thought deeply about how far Forna’s mind has been cornered.

That’s why, the words Neeto said earlier stabbed into my chest.

---------looking at her having that kind of delusion, I can see that you also haven’t done things properly on some things or another, I don’t want to hear anything about girls from you.

It’s exactly as she said. I really haven’t done things properly with girls huh.

No, wait, it’s not about haven’t do it. But doing things properly.

Eljela and Cosmos have become my family.

Ura has turned into my wife.

I don’t know where to place Arusha but I’ll put her in.

And next is simply, the turn of Forna.

“I made it so that I didn’t forgive her easily, slightly making her feel disliked, and once the lingering heat to fade out, we’ll back like in the past..... but I was naive. It’s because I didn’t listen to any of her feelings right from the front.” (Velt)

I have understood it when I fought Neeto. That my consideration to Forna was lacking.

“I will bring Forna back. Do you have any kind of good idea to do it?” (Velt)

“Bringing her back.... is it.... oh that’s right~...... if I were to synchronize your consciousness and make you enter her dream.....” (Fiari)

“Hoh, that’s a real fantasy way of doing it. But that’s fine. Let me get into Forna’s dream.” (Velt)

That’s why, I need to compensate her for the part that she has missed.

I think out about the conversation we had just now but, I now, am going to be face to face with Forna’s feeling.

And then, Fiari and Neeto made a mysterious look on their face upon seeing me.

“What........” (Velt)

“Nope.... um, to think that Tsunkura-kun is thinking about a girl’s feeling, it’s unexpected...” (Fiari)

“Oh be quiet already.... the popular guy is having it hard.” (Neeto)

“Ahahahaha. That’s how it is, Neeto-kun. Since there’s no way a harem could be good, being unfair might unexpectedly doesn’t translate into a winner you know? Instead, it might be someone who treasures only one girl that could be called a winner. Since that’s the case, Neeto-kun shouldn’t try to imitate something like that okay~.” (Fiari)

As I received a bit of a jeer, Fiari took my hand and then put it on Forna’s forehead.

With Fiari as the initial point, her magic power flowed into my body and interfered with my consciousness, bringing it into a dark, bottomless world.

“Cold.....” (Velt)

Because I’ve touched onto Neeto’s consciousness, I could feel the cold and dark feeling.

“Forna, ever since you reunited with me, do you always inside this darkness?” (Velt)

She endured my teasing, and me flirting with other girls, but the truth she is.....

“W...... woof!”

.....................?

“W, wan! Wan, wan! I’m Velt’s loyal dog-wan! I’m a female dog lower than livestock-wan!”

The scenery suddenly changed.

And rather than saying something had happened, for some reason Forna’s body is bound in a black bondage suit with her eyes being covered, both of her hands are bound to her back, sitting in seiza in front of me.

TL note: uh maybe bondage suit is that black suit used a lot when girls playing bdsm in anime.

And, I’m naked while holding a whip in my hand......

“Wha.... what the heck is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!” (Velt)

Forna’s delusion is a bit too much of a chaos!

“Forna------------! Y, you, what the hell, what the hell are you doing!” (Velt)

It was a situation where I even can’t understand in what language I spoke with.

But, the scene once again took a sudden turn, Forna disappeared from in front of me...... or so I thought.....

“......Huh?” (Velt)

I’m, now stomping on Forna’s back as she crawl on all fours.

“WAIT A DAMN MINUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!” (Velt)

And then, the world gradually changed.

“Ve, Velt..... geez, it, it won’t fit in......”

Putting no regards to my will, when I came to I’m already holding a candle and did many abnormal things to Forna who is bound to a cross.....

“My dear country citizens...... me here right now, is no longer a princess. But the worst and lowest kind of maggot.....” (Forna)

Furthermore, inside our hometown of Elfarshia Kingdom she, walked around like a dog with collar and chain attached.....

Amidst that kind of situation the chaos is furthermore unfurled.

“Papa~!”

“Mom~!”

“Mother~!”

“T, trash mom! A spinster shouldn’t try laying your hands on dad! Dad, hug me!”

Cosmos.... and, who are these girls now. These, miniature version of Arusha, Ura, and Yuzuriha.....

“Hey, papa, why is Forna-chan here~? It’s no good for Forna-chan to be here right? After all, those who are allowed here are only papa’s family. Forna-chan is only outsider!”

Hey, Cosmos won’t say something like that! She really won’t! But what’s with this one after another....

That’s why....

“Like I said, stop it already! Forna! What in the world is wrong with you!” (Velt)

Crap crap crap! This is, rather than a punishment it’s just a perverse play!

I mean, Forna why you....

“...........Eh?” (Velt)

But the moment I thought that, something suddenly jumped to me from the front, she turned her back to me and spread out both of her hands as she stood, it was Forna.

On her body, a large amount of swords, spears, and arrows have all pierced her, huge amount of blood flowed down from her....

“Wh, what the hell...... this..... what the hell is this!” (Velt)

No matter how many times I repeated that all of this are illusion within my head, this sight is so real that for a moment I thought I was mistaken.

Upon these succession of vision that my mind can’t imagine, I don’t even know how to speak in this situation.

But, it happened at that moment.

“I’ve tried many things.....” (Forna)

Once again the world changed into a pitch darkness.

A world of nothingness with no roof or wall all around. Over there, there were me and Forna, she was squatting while holding both of her foot.

“My wish is, to atone to you by receiving all kinds of sins and punishments.... but, even with me receiving those disgrace and punishments..... even with me sacrificing this life to protect you...... even with seeing so many situations..... despite all that I still..... I still can’t forgive myself.” (Forna)

“Forna...... you.....” (Velt)

“But despite that, the you in the illusion forgave me so easily..... when I noticed it we were already harmonious..... even have children..... I who have arrived into that kind of delusion felt it was so wretched that I couldn’t endure it.” (Forna)

What? Those were punishments? Weren’t those merely some M pervert play? Or so I’d like to retort.....

“Velt. I shouldn’t seek forgiveness from you. And you shouldn’t forgive me too. But.... but.... I want to atone to you.....” (Forna)

At that moment, Forna who casted her gaze down finally lifted her head.

 “Velt, what should I do? I’ve done everything I could think of in this world. But, no matter what I did I never able to agree to myself! What do I have to do..... to atone myself to you..... tell me...... Velt.” (Forna)

Tears caused her eyes to swell, weak like a child who is lost, that expression of her is pitiable.

“Fu.... fufufu..... how pathetic. Having forgotten about you and hoisted that shallow and flimsy justice, I have never thought, to think that upon remembering about you again I’d be reduced to this wretched state....... But despite that, to think you’d go out to meet me who has thrusted you away like this...... I...... don’t know what I should do anymore.....” (Forna)

To Forna who is very seriously feeling down like this, what am I to do?

To think that getting dragged into Fiari’s magic could make things turned out like this......

But......

“That M pervert play that you did..... do you really think I’d be wishing to actually do it?” (Velt)

“Velt?” (Forna)

“Forna. It’s natural that you won’t be able to agree with everything that you did. Since, you’re completely ignoring what I feel. Despite I don’t wish something like that in reality, don’t go and do something like that for your own self-satisfying atonement.” (Velt)

That’s right, in the end she has been mistaking it right from the start. Despite her trying to atone to me, she didn’t put any consideration to my feeling at all.

Forna is simply, getting mistakenly drunk by her own suffering and self atonement.

“Those teasings I did to you, it was done just for playing pranks. It’s not like I’m intending it to be the atonement of your sin, I never thought it that deeply.” (Velt)

But, with doing that we’d be able to go back to square one.

“Then.... what should I do? Velt! I knew it something that I should think of myself! But, no matter how I did I never able to find the answer.....” (Forna)

That’s right, then what should be done?

Think it out by herself?

She entirely thought it out, devote herself to the simulation in her delusion, but what’s gonna happen if she still can’t get the answer?

Since that’s the case...

“Forna...... if you were to put into practice the way of atonement you have right now.... it gonna make my heart needlessly suffer...... it’s painful....” (Velt)

Since that’s the case, then there’s no other way but for me to suggest it.

“Why are we like this, I wonder. I’m slightly envious to Fiari’s and Neeto’s bittersweetness now......” (Velt)

In what way I’ll be able to feel to be atoned for.....

“Forna. You knew me better than anyone in this world. That’s why, what you said earlier to me was true. That even though I love those who love me, I don’t feel infatuated with them.” (Velt)

“.........................Yes.” (Forna)

“That feeling like when you were so engrossed that you forgot the surroundings like when you were a kid, the innocent but clumsy feel like Neeto and Fiari too..... I don’t have it.....” (Velt)

Infatuation is invincible. Those was the words that Forna and Arusha said in the past. And, at that time they looked happier than anyone else.

“But, despite that I’ll say this. Sanne has said this too but..... I don’t like it myself..... this current situation. This complicated relationship with you.” (Velt)

Though it could be said this situation where I couldn’t answer to her infatuation is something that can’t be helped, I still don’t like it regardless.

“Me and Eljela could make Cosmos happy. Ura who is the child of my deceased best friend, I will make her happy. With Arusha, we’ve talked even back then including the time when we were still in previous life. Yuzuriha is a pet maybe? Since it’s like that, what’s next?” (Velt)

“Velt?” (Forna)

“Like I said Forna.... you, no longer need to atone, the feeling of guilt you have, all you have to do is make me happy then it’ll be settled right?” (Velt)

Well, I’m already plenty happy right now though....

“Velt............ what do you mean by that......” (Forna)

But, if with her having a duty to fulfill could save her....

“For instance, when my dad and mom died, I was sad from the bottom of my heart.” (Velt)

“......Yes.” (Forna)

“When Hanabi was born, I was so happy from the bottom of my heart.” (Velt)

“......So it was like that..... I didn’t get to know to her that much though.....” (Forna)

“When Cosmos was born, no matter the cost I have to protect her..... that’s what I thought.” (Velt)

“.......So something like that happened.....” (Forna)

I didn’t think about anything, merely saying what appeared in my mind, and Forna is listening to it seriously.

About what’s in my mind.....

“Forna. I felt pained when I lost my family, and felt happy when my family increased.” (Velt)

How am I to continue the words I said? Should I say to Forna that she have to become my family? No. She won’t be able to agree with that.

Then, I should change how I say it.....

“That’s why...... let’s make children with me..... huh? No no no!” (Velt)

“....................................................eh?” (Forna)

............. .............No, that’s wrong right? No, is this fine? Crap, for some reason I also on my wits end......

“Ah, no, that’s not what I mean. It doesn’t have to something like that..... anyways, since you know how to make me happy now, next you just need to do your best to make me happy, isn’t that enough already? So much that it makes your guilt, sin, and my grudge against you to blur out.” (Velt)

That’s right, what I wanted to say, what I was trying to say, was that despite her unable to turn back time anymore, I wanted her to be like how she was in the past.

That’s why.....

“And, you need to make me so happy that I can no longer live without you..... to the point that I even request it directly from you....... make me charmed by you...... just like that dark and gloomy Neeto could turn honest, make me turn to be infatuated to you......” (Velt)

Perhaps, rather than her trying to atone, it’s so that we could get back like how we used to is way more important to me.

“................!” (Forna)

At that moment, Forna covered her face and her shoulders trembled.

“I, is that, okay?” (Forna)

“Hah?” (Velt)

“For me...... to make you happy........ is that okay?” (Forna)

Her shoulders trembled, Forna sobbed as she wiped her eyes.

“It’s gonna be difficult you know? Once Cosmos is rescued, I will be at the climax of my happiness, and then to make me even happier and head over heels..... maybe, it will be much more difficult than any kind of atonement you know?” (Velt)

But, in the next moment, Forna’s expression when she raised up her face was different from the frail look she had just now.

“Fufu............... fufufu! Who do you think I am, Velt! It is exactly because there are difficulties that I will stand and face it!” (Forna)

“Yeah. Before you can make me happier than I am now, you won’t be forgiven.” (Velt)

Yeah, this is the Forna of that time. One that I knew well ever since I was a kid.

“I will make you happy more than Ura could!.” (Forna)

“Yup.” (Velt)

“I will make more children than Imperial Princess Eljela and add them to your family!” (Forna)

“Yeah.” (Velt)

“I will make you feel so complete that you won’t like your previous life as Asakura Ryuuma, I won’t give Arusha any turn!” (Forna)

“Haha.” (Velt)

“If you wish for it, at times I’ll be your pet more loyal than Princess Yuzuriha!” (Forna)

“I wonder about that.” (Velt)

“Even more than Kamino Mina!” (Forna)

“!” (Velt)

“More than Kamino Mina, I will make you be wonderfully infatuated with me!” (Forna)

That’s right. Not at that time when she regained back her memories a few days ago. But it’s surely now.

“Yeah. Show me how you’d do it.” (Velt)

Maybe, I right now, have finally be reunited with Forna.

“Velt..............” (Forna)

“Hm?” (Velt)

“Since this isn’t the reality but my delusion.....” (Forna)

“But your delusion?” (Velt)

“...........How about we, do training of........ making children?” (Forna)

Hey! It’s exactly because she’s like this that she’s Forna.

And, this is Forna’s delusion world. It’s reflecting Forna’s will.

When I realized it, we who don’t even have a single child were, well, did many things until our return to the real world......

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